A Woman's Work Is Never Done.

I don't, for one second, wish to imply that a man's work is ever done, or that women work harder. I have the utmost respect for the role of men in society, employment and family today and the tension they strike between these areas of their lives.

I have, however, been reflecting on the cyclical nature of housekeeping. I apologise for the gender assumptions I make here, but in our house, since I left paid employment, the logistical running of the house falls to me, and Nath continues in paid employment and upkeeps the gardens. It works, for now.
At least daily, I find myself muttering (or wailing, depending on the day) some variation of the phrase "all I ever do is clean." So much so, that Miya, one housecleaning day, turned it into a song as she helped me in my daily tasks. Since then I have attempted to instill in her a sense of value in the little tasks she does around the house, as well as the tasks she sees me complete.

For a long time, I have seen housework as a task that needs completing. I can't relax in my home unless I have ticked off the cleaning and housekeeping items on the list in my head for that day. Of course, once the list is complete, no sooner do I sit down and put my feet up than there is something more to clean. That is the nature of running a house, particularly one so lived in by small children.

Yesterday I had a headache. It was severe enough for me to put Playschool on for the girls, ring Nath and ask him to come home early and close my eyes to the world. Before doing so, I surveyed my house and felt the familiar anxiety that arises from having so much to do, but knew that I would be silly to push myself to do it. My body needed rest, and was telling me in no uncertain terms to give in to it. When I woke up this morning, the work was still there, more or less. Nath and the girls had tidied some things, but in place of the tasks completed were more chores vying for my attention.

But, imagine if we cleaned the house and it stayed clean? Imagine if we washed the clothes and there was no need to ever wash them again? Or if we cooked a meal that sustained our families for eternity? Would there be any value in that? Through our roles as women, we teach our daughters to nurture. We teach our sons to appreciate. We remind our husbands to respect. I have been trying so hard to teach Miya the value of a woman's work, and yet have forgotten to remind myself that what I do is important... not only for what it gives others, but for what it gives me.

I want to embrace the rhythm of housekeeping, the way it cycles around, daily, weekly, annually. The way it keeps my hands busy, my mind active, my children clean and clothed and fed. The joy of a task well completed, the challenge of a task not yet begun. I can't promise that the next time my children run sand across my freshly swept floor I won't raise my eyes to the ceiling and sing out, "Why do I bother?!" but I will endeavour to learn to relax amidst the piles of washing, the sink of dishes and the scattered toys, knowing that it will still be there tomorrow, and tomorrow is not far away.

Slow Down, You Move Too Fast....

... you've got to make the morning last!
Kicking back the cobblestones,
Looking for fun and feeling groovy!

(49th Bridge Street Song, Simon and Garfunkel)

It's been a crazy week. I finished work on Friday, and we spent the weekend doing what we do best... gathering bits and pieces for various projects from various places. We are getting used to hitching the trailer up and setting off on trips around the countryside to pick things up that we have sourced from Freecycle, friends and family.

This weekend, my mum needed some things removing from her yard, so we travelled down and collected some star pickets, an old pond shell (the ducks will love this.... they are getting too big for the baby bath we currently use as a pool for them) and a raised timber garden bed complete with stakes. We will head back down next weekend to pick up an aviary that we plan to use as a larger chook shed, freeing up the moveable one to use on the fallow garden beds.

We also picked up my old bunk bed that my parents bought me when I was probably six or seven. This has replaced Miya's single bed and Eden's cot, now that Eden is big enough to sleep in a bed. The girls stayed down at my parent's place for a couple of nights, and I can't wait for them to come home and see their bedroom.

Also on our 'collecting foray' we stopped at my grandparents' house to borrow some tools to help us with our latest project. We were very lucky to find an old cubby house advertised for sale locally, and we plan on 'renovating' it ready for Christmas, with the help of some paint sample tins generously donated to use by friends. Grandad loaded us up with timber from his shed, some power tools and, as a bonus, a Fowlers Vacola electric preserving kit and about 50 Vacola bottles. They will come in handy around here!

I've also been preparing jars of layered hot chocolate mix for a local Christmas "Cooking Co-op" that I am involved with this year. Seven friends and I have each chosen one Christmas-y food item to cook or make in bulk, that will be shared among us for gifts at Christmas. The premise is that it is cheaper, easier and less wasteful to prepare a larger amount of just one food than it is to buy ingredients for smaller batches of many items. I got the idea for layered hot chocolate at Getting By On A Dime and am very happy with the results. I can't wait to see everyone else's goodies!

With all this running around, I am once again reminded of how I have the tendency to 'busy' myself, and forget to slow down and enjoy a steadier pace to life. This blog, and my values, are about a healthier me (and family), as well as a healthier Earth. Since finishing work on Friday, I feel as if I have had to begin all the things I have been postponing until I am at home full time, all at once. I want to cook, sew, rearrange, sort, clean and I want to do it all today! I have to remember that I stopped paid work to give myself time to do all of these things, at a steady, sustainable pace, and that my days now will be about finding a new rhythm with the girls that is about things happening naturally, involving all of us. Over coffee today, a good friend said something in the context of a conversation about the 'more, more, more' mentality of many in our society that resonated with me: "It's like we have to go backwards to make progress". This is what I'm after... a relearning of traditional ways of keeping house, feeding the family and finding fulfillment.

I went to the gym today. It was the first time in months, and a lovely re-affirmation that my non-employment means that I can and will prioritise myself and my family above all other things.

I am looking forward to a slower, simpler life.

Time For Me

I am passionate about feeding my family nutritious, whole, natural foods.... and yet I struggle with my own weight, and often make poor food choices.
I am intentional about planning time where the girls are outdoors, being active and engaging with nature.... and yet I rarely prioritise my own exercise.
I engage the children in creative, soul-feeding activities, such as reading, singing, dancing, drawing and making... and yet I push my own creative needs to the bottom of the list.
I make sure that Miya and Eden interact and socialise with children their own age... and yet it feels so difficult to take 'time off' to be with my own friends.
I diligently protect my children's rest time, making sure they have enough sleep to fuel their bodies for their active days... and yet I seldom feel justified in pausing in my own tasks.
I actively seek opportunities for Miya and Eden to experience learning, and make the most of the incidental chances for learning to occur naturally... and yet I feel guilt over the time I spend reading, researching and pondering.
To be a mother is to be so many things.... the most important of which is to be one's self.
I pledge to take the time to be selfish, to be reflective, to feed my soul, to nourish my body, to grow my mind, to be me.