In Love With Old.

The buying ban is going well. It has been a lot of fun, actually. Apart from my regular hankering for a Thermomix, I haven't yet missed anything. All our needs have thus far been met, and we are enjoying being creative in sourcing things. If we can't find something, we don't buy it.

We have broken the buying ban once. We moved our chicken pen to the back of our block, and discovered that our backyard hose was not long enough to reach the new pen. We bought a hose connector to join our two hoses up so we could still replenish the duck pond and chicken drinking water. We bought a metal one, on the premise that it will last longer, and is less likely to break and become landfill.

I have developed a slight eBay addiction hobby. In fact, I have mastered the art of 'snipering' and have developed a failsafe strategy for keeping the bids low whilst still ensuring the kill win purchase.

So, here are some of my favourite purchases this year.... some of these have come from local Facebook secondhand selling sites, some from Gumtree and of course, some from eBay.

 I actually haven't decided whether this enamel milk jug and cream container will be purely decorative or not.... but I just love them!

 

 I gave my old plastic washing basket to my mum when I found this gorgeous sturdy wicker one. Wicker baskets make me feel like more of a wife and homemaker. I can't explain it, they are just magic like that.

 Nath cracked my old (cheap) mortar and pestle and for the first time during the buying ban I was worried as I wasn't sure I would find a decent one secondhand - its not the kind of thing people generally get rid of. However, I was lucky enough to find this beauty on gumtree for $40, and, even better, it had only ever been used for decorative purposes! These usually sell for $70 - $80 new.

The sifter was something I bought after cleaning out my overflowing Tupperware cupboard. Over the years, I have bought so much Tupperware that I literally had to open the door to the cupboard, throw things in and shut the door quickly so nothing fell out. I did a huge cleanout, partially to empty my cupboard and partially to rid our kitchen of unneccessary plastic. I grew up with a sifter like this (although my mum has since 'upgraded'!) and was thrilled to find this one cheap on eBay.

 I bought Nath this didgeridoo as a gift from someone locally who was selling things in preparation to move. Nath first started dreaming of owning a didgeridoo over five years ago when we were travelling. I remember him looking at some at the markets in Broome. At the time, all of our money was going towards caravan park fees, fuel to get to the next place and food. Finally, I am able to treat him to one. This one is made from Northern Territory Blackbutt wood.

I remember a set of these lined up on my grandmother's benchtop when I was a little girl. This was a purely nostalgic purchase, and well worth it for the looks on my own girls' faces when they saw them - they love the shiny, bright colours (and the sound the lids make when clanged together).

These purchases have weaved their way into the texture of our home and make our spaces feel like they have a bit of story to them. I am loving my home these days, it is so rewarding to create a beautiful, restoring place for our family, and for my children to be able to grow up with some of the memories of special things, similar to the ones that I have from my childhood in my mother's kitchen and laundry, as well as my grandmother's.

It's The Small Things.

Right now, I am sitting in a friend's house, watching her two beautiful boys for her while she and her partner are out for the night. The boys are both sleeping, I'm curled up on the couch with an iced coffee, a block of chocolate and Season One of Gray's Anatomy. The Cats just won the football, and tomorrow is Sunday.

It's the small things that make me happy, and today has been full of small things....

Chatting to a friend I haven't spoken to in a while....

Taking the kids to watch some vintage racing cars race up Mt Ommaney...

Miya saying, as we watched the cars, "I LOVE this! This is my FAVOURITE day!"....

Nath and the girls going for a picnic in the park, giving me valuable time by myself.....

Having a wonderful four hour nap this afternoon while my girls first slept, then played happily....

Ordering our Autumn seed collection ready for planting next weekend....

Both Eden and Miya saying "I love you", unprompted, at different points of the day....

Looking at the housework and thinking, "It will wait."....

Counting four little green tomatoes growing on our tree....

Watching the girls pick herbs and salad greens from our garden to go in the scrambled eggs from our chickens....

What have your 'small things' been? I'd love to hear them, being the voyeur that I am....

Soul-Feeding Play

In one of our many discussions about parenting this week, I said to Nath that parenting is much like trying to shape running water with your hands. No matter how much you try to make it hold its position, it will slip through your fingers and refuse to be contained. We have had 'one of those weeks' in the life of a parent. Just when we thought we were making headway with one particular behaviour, another one springs up and leaves us floundering.

We stayed with some friends over the weekend, on their property in the Toodyay hills. These are good people, and their love of cooking and eating wonderful food I naturally appreciate! They have created an amazing haven there on their little patch of earth, and it leaves you feeling relaxed, calm and contemplative.

My children, especially, loved their time there. They were so calm and engaged, and inquisitive and exploratory. I love it when they are like that. They become little adventurers, discoverers, wonderers.

I sat back in that space to watch them, and it occurred to me... this place has a soul. It is filled with beauty, but, more than that, everything surrounding me was made with natural materials. I tested my theory, gazing around the room. No plastic. Just a vast array of handpicked items made from wood, silk, pottery, felt, stone and glass. I talked to our host about this and she said yes, it had been intentional, as things of plastic have no life force, no connection.

I have been reading quite a bit about the Steiner approach to child development, learning and play. The idea of simplifying your child's play space is something I have come across a bit in my reading... not just simplifying the kinds of playthings your child has access to, but also simplifying the amount. I have been reflecting on the fact that whenever my children are presented with fewer play options, their play is far more focused, far more creative and far more engaging.

I came away from our friends' house inspired and determined to get back into our girls' playroom and transform it from an overly 'plasticised' toy storage zone into a meaningful space that will allow them to play creatively and provide them with some areas to retreat to when things become overwhelming.

Here are the results.

The girls' home corner, complete with a lovely tin tea set.

Quiet space for reading, and toys in baskets.

Miya often needs a space to retreat to - this is perfect.

The drawing/sorting/crafting table.

Small selections of toys - not too overwhelming.

Finger puppets, great for oral storytelling.

Scarves, mostly used for dancing with.

Music toys.

The girls love their 'new playspace' and it has such a positive impact on their behaviour. Their play is contented, calm and creative and they are no longer overwhelmed by the sheer volume of 'stuff' in their playroom (and the mess that needs cleaning at the end of each day!)

And better still, by selling some of their old toys, I have made enough money to buy some gorgeous, WA handmade Waldorf dolls from here!

May You Keep Your Feet On The Ground And Your Head In The Clouds

May You Keep Your Feet On The Ground And Your Head In The Clouds

 

It may seem strange to begin my post with a benediction, but this is where I have arrived after a week of pondering direction, choices and our wishes for the future. For the last few months (the entire life of this blog, in fact) I have felt weightless in life. 

Unsure of the next step, waiting, wondering where the wind will next blow.

Like Mrs Robinson hiding her secrets in the pantry, I have worked hard to seem 'settled'. You know the old saying 'fake it 'til you make it'? We have tried to buy a house here... Miya is enrolled in school... I am in committees, friendship groups, involved in weekly activities... we made plans for the future. After years of moving around, shifting house, town, even state every couple of years, I felt I was ready to give being settled a go. It is, after all, what married people who have children do.

Then we missed out on the house. And I quit my job. And we decided to move to Broome.

And the old anxieties started to whisper in my ear... are you sure this is the responsible thing? People will think you are unreliable. Shouldn't you be providing a settled childhood for your children?

 

I quietened them with a dose of common sense, and by remaining focused solely on the needs of our family. I anchored myself to this plan, this direction, and felt buffered from the winds.

Until this week.

This week, we got options. That may seem like a great thing (how many people in how many countries would not even dream of the options we are blessed with?) but really, all it served to do is re-energise those little whispers in my head.... see? You don't have to do this.... you could forget the whole thing.....the kids are happy here..... and left me reeling. Confused. Unsure, again.

The worse thing is, not even our options are set in stone. Things are open, nothing is certain... there is so much waiting to be done... continuing on with life, knowing things are about to change, but not knowing how, or when.

Many hours have been spent reflecting, discussing, considering the options. I have realised, through all of this, that in the same way many people are terrified of becoming married, I am scared of settling down. I am scared of committing to one place. There are so many wonderful places on this Earth, even just in this great state... and right now, I am torn between just two of them.

It leaves me questioning the premise of home. Our eldest daughter was named Miya, because that word means 'Home' in the Indigenous language of the Yindjibarndi people of the Pilbara area of Western Australia, where we lived when we decided to try for a baby. By the time we welcomed her into our lives, we had been travelling, and were now in the process of 'putting down roots' and setting up home in the hustle and bustle of Melbourne.

It was a hard process. We were broke. We had large gaps in our resumes from the time we had spent on the road. Just feeding ourselves was damn hard work. We felt countryless - like strangers in a land we didn't understand.

The along came our baby.

We understood 'home' for the first time. Home was what we were making for her. Home was us, the three (and later, four) of us, wherever we were. Home was fiercely protecting the sanctity of our family... against work commitments, against the breakdown in communication that often sneaks in without warning... against things that vy for our time and attention and keep us turning away from our most loved ones.

We are relearning this now. We relearn this everyday.. and will continue to do so, I suspect, until our days run out.

I am drawn to the analogy of a tree. The idea of being grounded, yet reaching skyward to our dreams and hopes. Knowing what is good, and right, and healthy... meeting the needs of our family, but not being afraid to think big, to look at the impossible, and wonder.

A tree. A symbol of strength, of tranquility. I picture this, and I know that I can make home. I know that I can be grounded, provide, enjoy my family, wherever we are. I know that, ultimately, it doesn't matter which path we take - what matters is that we continually turn inwards, into our souls, into each other. That we place the needs of our family above all other considerations.

We can do that anywhere. We know this, because it is what we have done in the past.

It's nice, sitting in the shade of our family.

The Things Our Children Teach Us

There are some things that words are never enough for. Being a mother, I find, falls into this category.

I can never find words big enough, or eloquent enough, or raw enough to adequately describe the kaleidoscope of emotions we daily feel as parents... the awareness of the tension we walk between being our children's everything and being their downfall... the terrible burden of knowing that the decisions we make on the fly, everyday, have such far-reaching impact on the people our children are and will become... the intense joy, delight and awe they inspire, as well as the pain, stress and exhaustion they seem to create.

Yesterday, in our house, was a big day. Miya went to three year old kindy for the first time. She has ached for this moment for many, many months, and despite my concern that the day's eventual and much built-up arrival would overwhelm her and send her back into her shell, she handled it with great poise and excitement. (so did I - no tears!)

This is the point in the story that I come unstuck. I'm not sure how to write about our afternoon without painting a picture of my daughter that I know is not true of her nature 99% of the time. We had tears, we had tantrums and it was incredibly difficult to find a way through them. Miya was so overwhelmed by her tiredness, her emotions and all the new things she had taken in during the day, she became almost volcanic. Reason flew out the window, and calm did not prevail.

Tantrums are not a new thing in our house. I wince when I look back on my childless self, observing children throwing tantrums, and remember all the sentences starting with "When I have children..." that I naively preened myself with. Tantrums are a normal part of development for many, many children and a rite of passage for their parents.

Yesterday, though, tested me.... and I failed. For so long, Nathan and I have disciplined in a kind of 'colour by numbers' way... we had our formula and we stuck to it. It involves a hierarchy of 'consequences' and we thought it worked for us. Friends were impressed by our consistency, members of older generations approved of the strictness of our methods. But if it truly worked, why were the same behaviours reappearing, sometimes many times a day? Why did I feel as though I was letting my children, and myself, down? Why did disciplining our children feel like constantly engaging in battle?

Miya is three. Just three. I expect so much from her, as my eldest, and forgot about the things she needs from me. I am her mother, a safe place for her, a nurturing presence in her life. When I 'engage in battle', however,  I am none of these things. When she is challenging, it is because she is challenged - by learning something new, feeling things that overwhelm or confuse her, by boundaries that are just made for testing, by learning where she fits in. It is my place to help her navigate these things, learn alternative ways of dealing with things, seek sanctuary when she needs it. I am doing her no service by reinforcing unhealthy ways of relating or expressing herself (by smacking in response to violence, by yelling in response to rudeness, by isolation in response to testing limitations.)

As a teacher, I would have felt that I was doing a poor job if my 'time out space' was in constant use, or if a particular child was always 'in trouble'. It is my job to diffuse, to gently correct, to support, to teach. Why is this different now that I am a parent? Somewhere along the line I have fallen into the trap of believing that 'negative' behaviours must be punished, rather than investing time into showing my children different ways of coping with their experiences and expressing their needs and wants.

Once again, I read back on this and feel that words have not been enough. I can't describe the pain I have felt since yesterday - pain at every punch my beautiful baby landed on my throat, chest and arms; pain at every thud as she threw herself at the closed door of her bedroom; pain at the sound of her hoarse little voice, her throat sore from endless screaming; pain as I unloaded my feelings on Facebook (I know, I know, how silly and selfish of me) and realised that all I had done is misinform people that my child is a monster; pain as I recall the look my child gave me when I reacted in anger, as if I was a stranger that she was wary of; pain as I realised that she is seeking something from me that I have not been giving her, and that after all the fighting, after all that, she still just wanted to curl up in my lap and be held. Why had I not done that from the beginning?

Gentle, slow, simple. This is how I live my life. This, now, is how I intend to parent.


 

Another Blessed Weekend.

It's Friday. A sigh of relief. Another blessed weekend, relaxing into our family, slowing down, finishing up and preparing for another week.

Weekends are for projects, for the tasks that require time, and patience. The tasks that still our minds, slow our bodies, let us ponder life, let us enjoy the rituals of providing. 

 My mending basket

The tasks that see us sweeping hair out of our faces, shifting weight from foot to foot, while we absent-mindedly stir a pot on the stove.

Nice, ripe tomatoes for paste

The tasks that see us brushing flies away from our eyes, dirtying our knees and the palms of our hands, as we unconsciously pull weeds, examine soil and feed our garden, with water and attention.

Weekends are for children, for family, for engaging our souls. For balancing the burdens of responsibility with the need for let-loose, energetic fun, for self expression, for reconnection.

My two frocked up princesses

Weekends let us choose what we bring to the home, and what we shut out. What we leave behind, hidden in busy weekly timetables, on messy work desks. When we find time to feed our souls and our minds.

My current reading list

 Weekends are when we re-establish what is truly important to us. We do this every weekend, to keep us in check, to give ourselves something to anchor to during the busy-ness of the week ahead, to keep us in mind of why we live the way we do.

The Two Things That Make My Heart Sing.

 I cleared my iphone of all my photos today (yes, the digital SLR is still a dream....) and found some nice ones of the girls. Given that being a stay at home mum is what I'm about these days I thought I would share some of them with you. This post is all about my two little angels, my gypsy child and my wild child, 

Miya Bethlehem and Eden Susannah.

Miya and Eden dancing at our "Tiny Tunes" music group

Classic Miya photo is her full "Fairy Princess Ballerina" get-up. Did someone say 'girls'??

Miya refuses to wear shorts. On the one day she was told to, we had to skype her grandad in Taiwan (who is, apparently, the authority on all things ballerina) to ask if she would still be a ballerina if she was made to wear shorts. Grandad, after recovering from a sudden coughing fit, assured her she would be.

Miya and Eden making Christmas crafts at their friends' house.

Cheeky monkey Eden

My girls helping me with the washing up. They love this job, even if Eden sometimes forgets that the teatowel is more effective when it is dry.

I love my girls.

An 'Eco' Holiday, A Food Journey and Change In The Air.

The time between before Christmas and now has flown by so quickly. I apologise for my absence from the 'blogosphere' but have truly enjoyed the family time we have enjoyed together.

Nath is back at work now - yesterday was his first day after a month off. It was slightly strange to see him off in the morning, but the girls and I enjoyed a pleasant day pottering around the house, running some errands and re-establishing our 'weekday rhythm' that I have secretly missed!

Before Nath went back to work, we enjoyed five days away without the children. This month marks ten years of marriage for us, and since the wee ones have been in our lives, opportunities for 'us-time' have been few and far between. We decided to head to Margaret River (South-West of WA) for a break, and stayed at Yelverton Brook Eco Chalets.

I am becoming uncomfortable with the word 'eco' when used to describe a product or a service, as I feel it is becoming a 'brand name' of its own, and often further investigation reveals that the product or service in question is not as 'eco' as one might expect it to be. By far the best example of an 'eco-resort' we have stayed in (or even come across) is this one on the Ningaloo Reef coastline in WA, which has such a minimal impact on its surrounding environment that if it was to pack up and leave, you would not even be aware that it had been there. Beside this, our preferred style of environmentally aware holidaying is bush camping, where we stick to existing tracks and live by the the motto "Take only photos, leave only footprints."

However, when all is said and done, Yelverton Brook does a fine job in providing a less impactful holiday stay to people who are used to holidaying with all the trappings. The chalets are furnished with recycled and cast-off timber, they do not use any chemicals in cleaning and bins for recycling and organic waste are provided. They run a breeding program for endangered mammals (Woylies) and control pests naturally. We thoroughly enjoyed our stay there (particularly the six man private spa under the stars!)

The wildlife provided much fun, as they are quite tame (many were hand raised by the owners of the property as part of the breeding program) and they came to the chalet door nightly for some organic feed provided by Yelverton Brook. I quizzed the owner, Joy, on the animals and came to recognise each kangaroo by name and learnt how they were related to one another. One cheeky kangaroo even hopped right into our chalet one night and rummaged through the scraps bin looking for treats!

Each night as we hopped in the spa, the possums and woylies would venture in for their share of the food, fighting amongst themselves. It was such a treat to see nature close up, and I miss that part of living in the North - the opportunity to be involved with the 'rawness' of nature, and to catch a glimpse of how things are in the wild, without human intervention. I am usually not keen on hand feeding wild animals, but these ones are part of a controlled environment with the ultimate goal of re-establishing the natural order of the local environment. When numbers get too high on the property (usually with kangaroos) some of the less tame ones are released into the wild by the owners and monitored to ensure their successful transition.

Over the New Year, I read "Animal, Vegetable, Miracle" by Barbara Kingsolver - a book about Kingsolver's family, who embarked on twelve months of eating only homegrown or locally produced foods. It was a brilliant commentary, and provided much insight into the ethics of our food consumption. With this fresh in my mind, I was keen to enjoy our holiday by delving into the many local foods that the Margaret River Wine Region has to offer. Our 'buying ban' is in full swing (and is going well) which afforded me the freedom to spend some money on sampling locally produced treats. We had some great fun scouring for dairy, olive oils, wines, beers, spirits, breads etc and I probably came away ten kilos heavier!

 

Now that we are back into the swing of things, we are looking forward to seeing what 2011 brings to our lives. We have been in a time of transition over the past few months, playing the waiting game in terms of buying a house, me leaving employment to be at home with the girls and seeing what might eventuate with Nath's job. Some of these questions have now been resolved, and this has allowed us to step back and look at what we want for our family and how we might go about achieving some of our goals.

Since leaving the North of WA nearly five years ago, we have missed the laidback approach to life that is so present there, the landscape and the lifestyle that isn't found anywhere else. We have decided to work towards moving back to Broome this year, for a last 'adventure' before we truly grow up and settle down. We love the town we live in currently, and plan to return here, but while our children are young we would like them to experience the 'wildness' of the North and the opportunities that Broome provides. Our lifestyle goals are very congruent with living in Broome - endless fishing trips will supplement our home grown produce and Broome has a fantastic market also.

We have also decided to have another baby. I am looking forward to hopefully introducing another little wee one into our family late this year or early next year. Our children bring us much joy and we feel we have done a pretty good job raising the first two thus far!

Finally, before I sign off from this epic post, I want to acknowledge the suffering occurring in Queensland at the moment. I can't begin to imagine what those people are going through. Many people across the country have felt helpless this week, wondering what they could do, if anything, to help. The Queensland government, as well as many welfare organisations involved, are reiterating that monetary donations are far more helpful to the people and communities affected than donated goods, for a variety of sound reasons. The Oz Material Girls have organised a huge auction of donated, handmade gifts. All proceeds will go to the flood effort. Some wonderful work-at-home-mothers have made and donated some truly beautiful creations to this cause, so please, if you are Facebook, head over, like the page, and check out the flood appeal auction albums. You can find it here. This link will only work if you are already a member of Facebook.

Happy Birthday Eden Susannah!

 Yesterday marked my youngest daughter's second birthday. It was a quiet event, as we have decided that the girls will have parties in alternating years. Miya had her not-to-be-forgotten pink party this year, complete with a week-and-a-half detox from all the sugars and additives, so to celebrate Eden's birthday we had a family dinner with homemade pizza and a gorgeous cake from the Additive Free Kids' Parties cookbook.

Celebrating my beautiful daughters' birthdays always leaves me feeling reflective (and, yes, sometimes a little sad) about the passing of time, the speed at which they grow up and the phases of parenting each one of them that we will not get back. This year, though, these celebrations have had additional meaning for me. Miya's birthday and the resulting behaviours from the mountains of junk food we had on offer were the catalyst for our commitment to eat and live more naturally and healthily. Eden's birthday has been the first our family has celebrated since embarking on this more conscious way of life.

I was horrified this morning when we sorted out the recycling tubs to take to the town recycling bins. After a birthday (even one without a party!) our bins were overflowing with paper, cardboard packaging and cans and bottles from everyone's drinks at dinner. Truth be told, our recycling bin is fairly full at the best of times. It's something I have been thinking about since reading Little Eco Footprints' blog post on this subject. We have managed to reduce our landfill waste quite significantly (in fact, our little half size shire bin is usually only a third full come rubbish day every week - it used to be overflowing) but I hadn't given much thought to trying to reduce our recyclable waste. Recycling requires the use of processes that draw on the Earth's resources... maybe not as much as producing new products, but more than if we were able to reuse the product ourselves, or better yet, not buy them in the first place.

Reduce, reuse, recycle. It's time for me to consider how I can implement the first two steps of this great 'healthy earth' process into our household. It may be time for me to quit my addiction to Coke Zero for once and for all. (For this reason, and many others!)

Under The Christmas Tree

I went to a Learning Ladder party a couple of weeks back at a friend's house. Learning Ladder is a 'home demo' business that sells children's books and educational games. On the table there I saw something I have been thinking about buying for the girls for some time - a tub of cotton reels and string for threading them onto. As a teacher, I know that threading is fantastic for developing fine motor skills and those early pre-writing skills. However, I could not justify spending the $20 this tub of plastic reels cost.

It occurred to me that I might be able to make my own beads (See? The whole not-buying-anything-new thing is already starting to kick in!) Nath and I experimented with cooking some beads shaped out of pink playdough that my mum had made with the girls, but only a few turned out usable. I then remembered that I had a cupboard full of old jewellery that I no longer wear (having little babies with grabbing hands cured me of that obsession!) So I spent the girls' nap time today cutting up my motley collection of necklaces and bracelets and saving the beads for Miya.

I found an old basket that would be great to hold them in, but the gaps in the wicker were too big for some of the beads. At the local markets the other day, I picked up a bag of material scraps for $2, and in it was a lovely pink scrap just big enough for me to make a lining for the basket. Onto the sewing machine I hopped, and half an hour later I had a lovely ribbon-edged lining for Miya's bead basket. I'm pretty proud of myself!

She will love this little homemade/upcycled gift, and hopefully, with some beading wire and string from my old short lived beading hobby, it will provide her with hours of entertainment.

Oh Christmas Tree!

Today was Christmas Tree Decorating Day in our house, a day late, but I didn't pick our Christmas tree up from my friend who had been borrowing it until last night. This morning, the girls woke up to the undecorated tree up in the loungeroom, and their new advent bunting (flags) strung. The first two pockets had notes in them (for December 1st and 2nd) and the girls were thrilled to find out what it was all about.

So we decorated the tree together before Nath went to work this morning, and, as it is Miya and Eden's last day at day care tomorrow, the present we will make today will be for their wonderful day carer. Miya wants to make 'lollipops' but the closest I can get to that is toffee, so we will see.

I was glad to string up the bunting last night. I feel it is important to note here that I am not a 'sewer' so these flags are not something I just 'whipped up', but I guess that adds to a sense of achievement. At best, they could be described as 'rustic'. Observant people will notice that there are only 12 or 13 flags here... this gives me just shy of two weeks to finish the second string of bunting! It's the thought that counts at this time of the year!

Cooking With The Kids

 

Miya and Eden both had one of those rare three hour sleeps today, doing wonders for every one's moods. When Miya woke up (even she was surprised at finding out she had, actually, fallen asleep!) the first thing she asked for was whether we could make some biscuits together.
I recently bought a fantastic cookbook called "Additive Free Kids' Parties" by Tegan Benfell and Rachel Davies Burrows. It is full of fun recipes for treats that don't contain any harmful additives. As Miya reacts badly to additives, this is becoming a well-used cookbook in our house.
We chose to adapt a recipe from the book and made Wholemeal Vanilla Biscuits (with 'faces' on). The girls helped scoop, measure, mix, pour and spoon (oh! the learning that happens naturally!) and decorate their biscuits with sultanas and almonds.

The results were impressive, and I caught the girls on numerous occasions sneaking out the back door having stolen one or two from the cooling rack... with only 1/2 cup raw sugar for the whole batch, I feigned shock and horror while revelling in the joy of watching my children enjoy a food journey from beginning to delicious end.

Wholemeal Vanilla Biscuits 
(adapted from 'Additive Free Kids' Parties' Vanilla Cream Biscuits recipe)

2 cups wholemeal plain flour
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 cup raw sugar
1 tsp natural vanilla essence
2 eggs
4 tsp milk (more if needed)
Sultanas and/or nuts to decorate


Preheat oven to 160 degrees and line or grease baking tray
Place all ingredients into mixing bowl and mix. Tip mixture out onto floured workbench and knead until all ingredients are well combined - adjust consistency with flour and/or milk
Roll dough out with a rolling pin until it is approximately 3mm thick
 Use a circle cookie cutter to cut biscuits. Place them on baking tray and decorate with sultanas and/or nuts.
Bake for 12-15 minutes or until edges brown
Cool on wire rack

Time For Me

I am passionate about feeding my family nutritious, whole, natural foods.... and yet I struggle with my own weight, and often make poor food choices.
I am intentional about planning time where the girls are outdoors, being active and engaging with nature.... and yet I rarely prioritise my own exercise.
I engage the children in creative, soul-feeding activities, such as reading, singing, dancing, drawing and making... and yet I push my own creative needs to the bottom of the list.
I make sure that Miya and Eden interact and socialise with children their own age... and yet it feels so difficult to take 'time off' to be with my own friends.
I diligently protect my children's rest time, making sure they have enough sleep to fuel their bodies for their active days... and yet I seldom feel justified in pausing in my own tasks.
I actively seek opportunities for Miya and Eden to experience learning, and make the most of the incidental chances for learning to occur naturally... and yet I feel guilt over the time I spend reading, researching and pondering.
To be a mother is to be so many things.... the most important of which is to be one's self.
I pledge to take the time to be selfish, to be reflective, to feed my soul, to nourish my body, to grow my mind, to be me.

Peace For Yuletide

I was researching today the origins of the word 'Yuletide'. Tide was easy... this means season, or time. Time for what, though?
The word 'yule' has contested origins. Most sources merely state that the meaning of 'yuletide' is 'the Christmas season' or 'the period extending from Dec 24 to Jan 6'. It seems that the 'christianisation' (and commercialisation) of this festival has resulted in a loss of meaning, not just of the event itself, but even the literary roots of its name. In fact, the Oxford dictionary reportedly will only accept the meaning of yuletide that relates specifically to Christmas, despite the fact that the winter festival that Yuletide originates from predates Christ by a few centuries.

So what could I find out? Traditionally, yuletide marks the festival of the winter solstice, when the sun reaches its southernmost point. Some believe that the word yule has its origins in the Nordic jol (wheel), which may be derived from ancient Indo-European word meaning 'to go around', the assumption being that yuletide refers to the turning of a season, or the time at which the year is at its low point, ready to come round again.

Whatever it truly means, my research today has served to highlight that our contemporary society has lost the ability its predecessors had to mark with celebration the passing of time, to join in meaningful festivities that bring together communities in rejoicing in the most mundane of daily and yearly tasks, to find value in the ebb and flow of communal life.

On a personal level, I am entering this festive season with these things on my mind, having made some significant decisions over the past couple of weeks. Last Friday, I resigned from my employment, and will finish up there next Friday. I have been working three days a week for the past (almost) 18 months, while the girls have attended day care locally, at the town day care centre initially, and more recently with a fantastic home family day carer. I have decided to return to being a full time, stay at home mother, wife, home maker and woman. Our family is looking forward to this change, and I am so excited about settling into a precious rhythm with the girls, and being able to spend more time learning, exploring and creating with them.

It feels like the end of an era for me, one that was rewarding in a lot of ways, but one that also had its challenges and limitations. It truly does feel as if our family life is coming into a more settled, peaceful period, kind of like the wheel at its low point, ready to come round again. I very much look forward to seeing what the next turn of the wheel will bring.

"Reflections From A Loving Mama"... borrowed from EcoMilf

EcoMilf wrote this beautiful reflection on motherhood the other day, I was so moved by it, I asked her if I could share it on here.

Written Thursday, November 11th, 2010:

It’s 7:46pm. Brad is in New Zealand for the night. The wee ones are fast asleep in their beds up the creaky stairs, surrounded by silky comforters and fluffy bears. North’s cheeks are probably flushed, his hair twirled into a whirlwind, his thumb has probably gently fallen out of his mouth by now. Indigo’s shallow and silent breaths are filling the basket beside our bed. She is double-wrapped to ensure her houdini hands don’t escape and flail around, waking her from her peaceful slumber.

I made these two gorgeous and innocent creatures. From conception to birth I helped them grow.

I sustain these beautiful, compassionate and pure beings. I provide. I love. I kiss. I comfort. I feed their little mouths, their little minds, their little souls.

I protect them as best I can. From falls down stairs, from bees, from hot ovens, from overstimulation, from UV rays, from growing up too fast, from everything that is wrong and sad in this world. When they hurt, I hurt. I feel for them and with them.

Sometimes I am so overwhelmed by the responsibility of being a parent. By these two spirits who came to me in perfection and who I will influence as positively as I can, but who I will, and life will tarnish.

Tonight as I sit back, take a breath and be thankful, I remind myself that nothing lasts forever. They will some day, too soon, grow up and live without me. But in this moment, I love them totally and utterly. They complete me, and I complete them.

What a wonderful stop in this blessed journey called life.